Spirit Matters

Spirit Matters is a new column by Marcia Rutan. Marcia has been a member of Seattle Unity since 2007, and has served as greeter, Earth Care leader, and Prayer Chaplain. She lives with her husband Carl Woestwin… [and is] focused on writing. A published poet, her background includes three yearlong programs (Popular and Literary Fiction, Poetry of Water), five years in Poetry of Nature (Institute of Poetic Medicine), many classes and conferences, and over 15 years in a poetry group. Her heart‘’’s desire is honoring Earth and Spirit in love and beauty.

January 2026: Hat Over the Wall

When I was 35, my marriage foundered – too many problems and the only way out seemed ‘”’out.‘”’ Heart-wrenching for us, including our young daughter, we let go of a dream and promise, and fell into a fragmented disorienting world.

That same year a friend invited me to participate in The Landmark Forum, successor to the E.S.T. training created by Werner Erhard. She used the magic word ‘”’transformation‘”’ and I jumped in both feet to ten rigorous days which challenged every way I saw life. As my tired old stories dissolved and former limitations cracked, a rainbow filled my sky.

This didn‘’’t mend my marriage but big changes followed. I‘’’d been terrified to drive on the freeway and suddenly could. Decades of hurt held against my mother fell away as I reconnected with my deep love for her. I shifted out of a stuck cycle of waitressing and substitute teaching to claim a professional job, which became 25 years with local government generating recycling, waste prevention, and food waste composting programs, and creating Washington Green Schools (now EarthGen).

One of the mantras of the Forum was ‘”’throw your hat over the wall,‘”’ short for make a commitment full-out. Don‘’’t succumb to inner ‘”’conversations‘”’ that stop us, and persist beyond fear, embarrassment, or comfort craving, plus build partnerships (don‘’’t ‘”’go it alone‘”’). I gained a core sense of commitment that moved me beyond the ‘”’weather‘”’ of passing emotions or thoughts.

Almost ten years after the Forum, I knew I wanted a fully committed marriage for the rest of my life, not a relationship where either of us kept a toe out the door. So I set about building a new ‘”’mental equivalent‘”’ by interviewing work colleagues with steady caring marriages, and took action. I built an altar of intention, prayed to find my true mate, and began acting like I was ready, including spending as much time with men as I would in a relationship. I also cleaned out my closet and released sticky ‘”’conversations‘”’ of disbelief.

Lo and behold, via friends and ‘”’coincidences,‘”’ Carl and I met at a recycling conference and the rest is our love story of thirty years and our devoted marriage of 23 years.

Does this mean that the hat never had to be tossed over the wall again? Ha ha, of course not. Marriage is constant recommitment and letting go of worn-out conversations. But this time I was whole-hearted, and my partner felt the same. We‘’’ve retrieved many hats!

What about my first husband? It was rough for a long time. We co-parented our daughter, but I still held onto hurt and resentment. Though we were both spiritually-based, our lack of skill and inability to communicate made it messy.

But in one insightful moment, I realized he was going to die someday, leveling me with grief. I thought, why am I holding onto grudges while he‘’’s still here? That switch in ‘”’conversation‘”’ opened my heart and, since then, we‘’’ve always been glad to see each other. Happily, my first husband also found his true mate, and at our daughter‘’’s wedding, his toast included loving regard for me as our daughter‘’’s mother, which moved me to tears. I‘’’m grateful we‘’’re still here, learning to love beyond walls of self-protection.

As we Unitees start 2026 with our new White Stone words, I claim the power of intention. What hat am I throwing over the wall, beyond perceived limitation? How far am I willing to go or be, to claim that hat?

In New Thought, we recognize action follows thought, and the muscle of ‘”’mental equivalent.‘”’ In the Forum, I learned the ‘”’conversation‘”’ and my interpretations are always there, but I can choose which conversation I‘’’ll engage with. Unity‘’’s teachings of healthy denial (not repression), intention, and affirmative prayer all forward this premise.

I can ‘”’lose‘”’ my white stone in a drawer, or place it on an altar for the next 12 months, making room for revelations. It‘’’s a hat I can throw over the wall, unclear how I‘’’ll get there.

As people of faith, we choose alignment with something beyond history, broken promises, past limitations and world circumstances. Through prayer, meditation, and walking our talk we assert a greater power called God, Creator, Presence, Christ, Buddha, Divine Life, or Higher Self. I keep throwing my hat over the wall for the pure joy of discovering how Love opens doors again and again, beyond fear, letting in the unstoppable Divine Light. This is our birthright.

 

 

Music:

Born in Chains by Leonard Cohen
One Power by Daniel Nahmod, sung by Stephan Mitchell at Seattle Unity 2014

 

New Years’ blessings!

Marcia Rutan
Prayer chaplain, poet, elder, Earth pilgrim

 

 

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